Th Official ASIS Farewell

It’s “Actually” over

You may consider this the final posting of the self-proclaimed at just this very moment “most popular website in the history of the port City and it’s surrounds”. It’s been a solid run, but the whole thing has kind of run its course and I figure it’s better to go out while still reasonably popular than to milk this cow till she’s bleeding 2%. A very sincere thanks goes out to everyone who has ever casually stopped by the site, read it religiously, commented on a post, or submitted a picture, this wouldnt have been much of a thing without you guys.

As for your old pal Bunkie T. Perkins, Esquire, if you enjoyed what you read here, you can always go check out my sister SEC football site at FriendsoftheProgram.net or follow me on Twitter at FOTProgram.  There’s also a pretty good chance that I’ll be popping up from time to time in some of the local media’s more esteemed radio programs and monthly periodicals, so check those out should they ever come to fruition.  Again, thanks to everybody for reading and thanks to all the tramp stamp-having, Ed Hardy-wearing, meth lab-building, domestic violence-perpetrating, baby-punching, Bernie-dancing, donk-customizing, doctorate degree-forging, no underclothes-fighting, stupid bumper sticker-having, mug shot-taking, extremely obese mayors out there…we couldn’t have done it with out you.

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The Best of ASIS: BREAKING: Shreveport City Councilmen Will Be Killed, Says Two Crazies

The Shreveport City Council gave untold gems to ASIS, and I thank our city’s leaders for that. I am also thankful that the Roberts Rules of Order bend for no man, even a prophet.

Even though he was there foretelling the impending demise of members of the council itself, I like that Oliver Jenkins stuck to protocol and reminded him that he only had 3 minutes to deliver his message. Rules are rules, nutcase.

[As Seen at the Shreveport City Council]

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The Best of ASIS: This Week in Bossier

Pretty muc the greatest arrest photo ever taken. That’s what true commitmet and maximum effort looks like…and Im sure the Bossier police did a fine job as well.

All you can really say is that he left it all out there on the field [HT: RCR]

I don’t recommend it, but, if you are of the mental frotitude necessary to actually think evading the cops and running away on foot is an excellent exit strategy, have fun with it…make it a improptu steeplechase or some sort of felonious Ironman tri-athlon.

A suspected burglar failed to escape police by jumping into the Red River on Wednesday after two officers and a dog dove in to capture him.

Shreveport police detectives spotted a minivan downtown about 2:15 p.m. they believed was connected to a recent string of nightclub burglaries in Shreveport, Shreveport Police Department spokesman Sgt. Bill Goodin said.

The van was photographed at the burglary scenes. Bossier City police believe the driver is responsible for similar burglaries there.

Officers called for backup and attempted to pull the suspect over, Goodin said. The suspect initially pulled the van to the side of the road at Caddo Street and Louisiana Avenue but sped off to evade police, Goodin said.

Pursuit took Shreveport police into Bossier City where they were joined by the Bossier City Police Department. The suspect drove the van to the dead end of Traffic Street, abandoned it and fled on foot, Goodin said. (ASIS Editor’s Note: Of course there was a van “down by the river” involved)

A Bossier City officer and a Shreveport police K-9 officer managed to find the suspect swimming in the Red River about 30 feet from the bank, Bossier City Police spokesman Mark Natale said. The suspect was ordered to return to shore but did not, he said.

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The Best of ASIS: And Now for a Special Dance Number

Upon this video appearing on the site, hundreds of Shreveport fathers took their sons out to play catch, cooked them a steak dinner, and them snuck them into a local gentleman’s club…just to make sure.

Don’t worry, they’ll butch up the performance by dressing up like an indian, a cop, and a construction worker.

[As Seen on YouTube by Brenna]

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The Best of ASIS: A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Over the course of the site, there were several instances of “passed the hell out in public” but this one is the undisputed champion…fetal position, a comforting arm between the legs, literally in the gutter or thereabouts, in the middle of the day. Just a rousing display of public drunkenness

The Shreveport Downtown renaissance, building momentum one guy passed out on a curb at a time.

[As Seen on Marshall St. by Tim]

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The Best of ASIS: The Giving Tree

A personal favorite…everything about this picture is great, from his name to his startling resmblance to the logo of the company he works for. Much respect, Crayon.

Some corporate types might scoff at the notion of hiring someone like this, but my man Crayon here has the type of commitment you want from an employee.  Dutifully doing his job, serving the customers, and all the while showing a willingness to look exactly like the company logo.

[As Seen at Dollar Tree on Youree by Sarah]

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The Best of ASIS: My Big Fat Greek Eyesore

Ah the Greeks, a people who come from a country that is fiscally bankrupt, but rich in breads, cheeses, and gaudy yard ornaments.

I mean, what the hail, Caesar?!

[As Seen on Arthur St. in Broadmoor]

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The Best of ASIS: I’m Lovin It

So much going on here…no pants, shirt/shoe coordination dispite said lack of pants, and I don’t even what to make of that individual in the backgroun. All in all, just an enhanced dining experience at your local McDonalds.

Say what you want about her lack of pants, but you got to admit gurl is matching her top and shoes with a quickness.

[As Seen in McDonalds by Patrick]

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The Best of ASIS: We Can All Dream: The Shreveport MLK Parade in Pictures

Always an ASIS favorite…documenting all of the pomp and circumstance of the Downtown Martin Luther King parade and the festive elements it attracts.

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream of racial sensitivity and equality among all God’s children…however, you should probably lower your expectations and just enjoy the pageantry and spectacle that is the Shreveport MLK Day Parade.

I think this guy has all of the Road Work covered at the moment

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The Best of ASIS: Hail to the Chief

Any political candidate whose backbone of his campaign is fake secret service guys and Superior Margaritas has my vote.

It seems I underestimated the seriousness of the Presidential campaign of Bossier used appliance dealer Anthony Tubbs.  No, he doesn’t have a more thought out platform, or some well constructed healthcare plan…he’s just got a motorcade and fake secret service…and a Superior Grill Margarita roady.

[As Seen on Youtube]

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